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If you’re still tightly clenching onto hopes of falling in love and becoming married, well…it’s time to let those white knuckles take a reprieve. Tides are changing and redesigning the landscape that maintains our quotidian ways of seeking modern pair-bonds, and these are all changes that we have become amenable to and are partaking in. I just want to make sure that we’re all aware of them and that our expectations don’t exceed our reality.

Women are outperforming us males. 2010 marked the first time in American history that women made up the majority of the workforce, and they now account for more than half of all managerial and professional positions. 60% of all bachelors and master’s degrees were earned by women. As women ascent on the ladder of achievement, the implications become clear: the economic dependence that once dominated the marriage regime as “necessary” is near extinction. Women no longer need men, and are treating the market as such. Becoming the men they wanted to marry has allowed them a greater degree of freedom not previously afforded in generations prior.

At this point, two things are adamantly clear: we’re both putting marriage off and we are marrying less. The median age in 1960 for marriage was 23 for men and 20 for women - that number has risen to 28 and 26, respectively. The emphasis on having a nuclear family just isn’t there anymore. Take for instance my boss: she never found her prince charming, and makes the salary of two, 6-figure salaried princes, so technology gifted her the ability to cultivate a baby, sans a father. Many of the roles that were once exclusive to men cease to further exist.

It shouldn’t be so bleak for men. The ratio of females to males in the US is 50.8 to 49.2. While that doesn’t seem so imbalanced, allow me to be quick to point out that means there are a whopping 158,394,400 more women in the US than men. We should be hand picking apples in an orchard, but as the social landscape of marriageable men changes (read: downsizes), it seems as though this imbalance will not play to our favor.

The Guttentag-Secord theory postulates that members of the gender in shorter supply have greater dyadic power over the opposite sex - they are less dependent upon their partners. In a low-sex-ratio society (aka women outnumber men), men lose their senses, chivalry, and ability to think. This manifests itself as sexually promiscuous men, unwilling to commit to relationships, especially in more developed capitalistic nations like our own.

All of this amounts to a warning: maybe we should be more cautious in heeding the voice that warns us that “something is missing” in a relationship. Value those that you do have, because the choices you make now might come to bite you in the arse later on - your pretentious attitude might lead you to not enjoy the accomplishments of your children or grandchildren. And while you’re entitled to choosing the best fit for yourself, realize that no spouse is perfect, and no matter how rich, vile, famous, or beautiful we are, we all settle for someone in the end. Someone different from ourselves. These are the challenges that push us to grow into stronger individuals.