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[Background: this is a rebuttal to: On Bad Boys and Nice Guys]

You know how you’ve had a best friend, crush, or female acquaintance that always seems to pick the asshole instead of you? Despite your sadness, you suck it up and somehow provide a backbone for your friend who barraged you with unnecessary details of her psuedo-relationship with the asshole, because you’re a good friend. Somewhere along the way, you vocalize your feelings too (because that’s what friendships are based on, right? Reciprocity?) only to realize these girls are publicizing your woes (and their ignorance) by means of the interweb?

It’s time, nice guys. It’s time to put an end to this silly cycle of ineptitude that girls seem to posses when dealing with relationships. We shouldn’t have to bend ourselves backwards for girls who don’t appreciate (or take the time to show gratitude for) the things we do. IT’S TIME. You see, I’ve got a theory. It’s a theory that’s been validated by one of these girls, and it explains why they go for the bad boy: they want to feel special. They think that if they can somehow change him then they’ll have a trophy boyfriend. A memento that validates their uniqueness and tells the public, “wow, that girl was special enough to change him.” But can we pause for just a second to ask a very important question?

WHEN DID GIRLS COME TO THINK THEY ARE ALL PSYCHOLOGISTS? It’s time for us nice guys to break it down: you’re not. While according to the 2005 APA survey, 72% of entering PhDs and PsyDs entering psychology were women; I’m going to hazard a guess that you’re probably not one of them. And if that’s your ambition, at this age you likely haven’t undergone 6+ years of studying to know where to begin when it comes to tackling his surfeit list of issues. You know which issues I’m talking about: impulse control disorders, daddy issues, generalized anxiety disorders, and more. There are a plethora of these men out there and you seem to have a proclivity for picking them.

But apparently the ONE issue these girls can’t put up with is man who was raised right.

It seems that these girls are living under the impression that nice guys are desperate. That we will bestow our love upon any female that walks across our threshold and shower them with song-writing, nice dinners, back rubs, and deluge them with everlasting love. Wrong! We have standards; we are selective just like any other human, and if we DO chose to shower you with these things, you’re pretty damn lucky. If you have found a man who will listen to you cry about meaningless crap once a month, buy you tampons, cook you dinner, wash your car, help elevate you to your life goals and more - then allow me to reiterate: you’re pretty damn lucky.

So the next time you think it best to skimp over a “nice guy” and walk into the warm-from-the-last-skank-embrace of a bad boy, emboss your face in a black eye, or spend your hard earned check on bail, I’ve got news for you: we don’t want to hear about it. And we’ll uphold our end of the bargain and stop overestimating your maturity, we’ll stop whining to you when WE pick a bad apple, and start focusing on women instead of girls.

And at this point, you should probably step away from your computer and check-in with your significant other…because that boyfriend you thought you changed? He’s cheating on you.