Untitled

Admit it.  They’ve got talent. They know how to present themselves, and better yet, some of them are unparalleled in their sales tactics.  The product they are selling is one they know inside and out, giving them the advantage of flaunting their hallmark features and concealing their flaws.  Nordstrom girls know how to catch your eye with their attentive styles and captivating charm, but I’m leery.  While this is not to say that these girls do not make suitable companions to many, these are the reasons why I would never date a Nordstrom employee.

1) I am an employee of Nordstrom. I don’t want to date someone who does the exact same thing as I do.  That would be exceedingly boring.  Imagine coming home to listen to a recap of the same things that you did all day, or even worse - hearing this monotony from a person you worked with all day long.  Nordstrom doesn’t pay overtime for listening to more work in your personal abode; leave work at work unless it’s going to bring something enlightening to the table or challenge us to help and grow each other to new heights.  

2) I don’t like my private life to be publicized.  Nordstrom doesn’t employ mutes - the ability of these employees to propagate information is what makes them unrivaled sales associates.  These people TALK, and this is particularly true of the assiduous San Diego region.  We’re all close, and every little move you make, good or bad, would spread through the company like the pheromonal output of an unspayed female in heat on a hot summer day.  When God forbid if something goes awry, forget about privacy: people will instantly forge relentless sides and you’ll be forced to constantly see this person and their counterparts more than you care to.  

3) They all dress the same.  This can be and likely will be argued by many, but most Nordies girls all shroud themselves in the same generic garb that I could probably reticket in my head without even seeing the vendor tag.  This is not necessarily a bad thing - Nordstrom specifically chooses clothing that will appeal to the masses as this generates high sales.  But I’d like to see something new, and I realize this makes me a hypocrite, as my house discount often paralyzes me from shopping anywhere outside of the company.  Regardless, I don’t want my relationship to be some circuitous non-directive pathway that leads me right back to what I already am.

4) Intellect.  I’m not trying to denigrate all Nordstrom employees, or even place myself on an unrivaled pedestal.  I guarantee that if you took a sample of their IQs there would be IQ outliers that far surpass mine.  But most aren’t academics, and that’s okay - it really is.  People can be motivated to achieve retail success and that’s a perfectly respectable career choice.  It’s just not the type that I’m attracted to.  I’m nerdy, and I like nerds.  When was the last time you thought “Nordstrom girl” and “nerd” to be synonyms?